15 Reasons Your Mom Would Totally Be Arrested Today

May 11, 2018

15 Reasons Your Mom Would Totally Be Arrested Today

Being a parent today, I’m amazed (and wildly jealous) when I think about the things our moms got away with.

Why was I allowed to play tag on our street at 10pm on a school night when I was 12? Is it okay that I was cooking Chef Boyardee on the stove before I knew how to divide? Seems fairly unsafe now, but at the time… it was totally cool.

In the spirit of this approaching Mother’s Day, let's take a look at how being a mother has evolved over the past 30 years. Here are 15 things your mom did that you'd totally be judged for (and maybe even arrested for) today.
  1. She left you in the backseat for a couple of hours while you slept (in her defense the window was cracked).
  2. Allergies schmallergies... peanut butter for everyone.
  3. Second hand smoke wasn’t a thing yet.

  4. Seat belts were more of a suggestion.
  5. You were totally allowed to walk to the playground alone. 5 miles away.
  6. There was no age requirement for the front seat (SHOTGUN!).
  7. Did you even own a bike helmet?

  8. Your mom put your 12 year old sister in charge all summer.
  9. You waited in the car while she was in the store; if you were lucky she’d leave the radio on.
  10. 3 kids under 4 in a bathtub unsupervised.
  11. Soda with every meal.

  12. Sunblock was a longshot.
  13. Apple juice was a health food.
  14. You had a blast riding in the back of your uncles pickup truck.

  15. Best preschool? The closest one. 

So even if you're having a horrible day, mom, just remember that no matter how bad you think you're f**king up, your kids will be fine. I mean, we turned out okay (for the most part)!



Why not treat yourself to some fabulous mommy must-haves?

Our Calm The F**k Down blend is great for days when your kids decide to test your mental stability.

Wake The F**k Up! This blend is perfect for juggling soccer practices and math homework.

Need to remind them who's boss? There's no question with this HBIC mug!

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