By Carrie Pinkard
What She’s Looking For: I’m waiting for Santa to end things with Mrs. Claus!! But in the meantime, Yule have to do.
What She’s Reading Right Now: A s(ELF) help book on how to be even MERRIER!
About Merry As A Motherf**ker:
Job: Professional Mall Santa Assistant
Politics: None! Being apolitical is how I stay Merry as a Motherf**ker
Exercise: Daily. Have to keep sleighing these ho ho ho’s!
Marriage status: Single and ready to jingle
Pets: A St. Bernard who I dress up as reindeer most days. He hates me.
Education: North Pole Community College
Body type: Rooibust, some might even say rooibenesque
Height: 5.4 inches
Drinking: A splash of eggnog here, a dash of mulled wine there.
Hi! I’m Merry as a Motherf**ker, but you can just call me Merry. I’m like a snowflake: incredibly beautiful and there’s NO ONE else like me. The biggest thing you should know about me is that I’m a Christmas fanatic. My house has been decorated for the holidays since July! If you also love the most wonderful time of the year, we could be mint to be.
I’m fantastic for warming you up when it’s cold outside. I’m also super versatile. I’m a great date to bring to holiday parties because your friends will love me. But I’m also perfect for snuggling up with on the couch and watching Elf for the hundredth time.
If this all sounds holly jolly to you, meet me under the mistletoe for a pepperminty kiss to remember.
XOXO - Merry ❤️
Get in loser, we’re going caroling!! #VoiceOfAnAngel
Just looking for someone to stuff my stocking.
My house always smells like freshly baked Christmas cookies! #Foodie #ChristmasCookies #GirlsWhoBake
I spend 60 hours a week watching the Hallmark Channel Christmas movies, hope that’s not a dealbreaker!! #EveryKissBeginsWithHallmark #HallmarkRomance
I'm always on the top of the Naughty List 😉
The holiday season is SO lit.
Want to swipe right on this Peppermint Tea?
She's only in town for a short time so get her before she's gone!