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Remember that time we found those sparklers...

March 26, 2018

Remember that time we found those sparklers...

I used to get so excited for March 17. It was the one day of the year that my pale ass fit right in. Today, St. Paddy’s Day is a very different place. There are no kegs and eggs, no Erin Express shenanigans, no shenanigans at all really. My green beer has been replaced with green tea, my “Erin Go Bragh!” replaced with “Lets Go Take A Nap!".

I’m not complaining. I’m in my thirties now; not quite as limber as I once was. My stamina for late nights and loud music isn’t what it used to be. Some of my friends are married with multiple kids just like me, so I’ve got company in this newly discovered world of grown-up things. But then there are “the others”. My bright-eyed, well-manicured, chic and shiny kidless friends. Oh how I envy them. They’re still able to make Friday happy hours and Sunday brunches without calling a babysitter or bribing a three-year-old. Oh yes my friend, they’re out there living their best life. And they’re posting about it on social media.

Which brings to me to the point of this fine blog post. Girlfriend, I’m suffering from FOMO so hard this week.

FOMO or “Fear Of Missing Out” is fucking real. I’ve experienced bouts of it since I was ten and grounded for stealing spare change from my mom's change jar (I tried to blame it on a raccoon…we lived in Philadelphia, there were no raccoons). Anyway, while I was grounded the neighborhood kids found a box of sparklers leftover from the 4th of July and I fucking missed it. Can you imagine the agony of hearing about how awesome it was at school on Monday? It was awful.

Unfortunately, FOMO is still alive and well with me. Instead of waiting until Monday to hear about it during homeroom… I get a front row seat to watch the fun unfold (without me) online.  There's dancing, there's shots of Fireball, there's a group pic with the Uber driver in front of Steve's Prince of Steaks at 2am. All the while I'm at home, in bed, watching reruns of The Golden Girls and feeling much older than I actually am. I can't help it, I'm jealous - I want to dance and eat cheesesteaks in the back of a Honda Civic with an Uber driver who has a killer 90's playlist.

So if you too find yourself suffering from FOMO, here's a few tips:

  1. Turn off your cell phone, pour yourself a huge cup of tea and bask in the glory that is Netflix. Pictures never tell the whole story anyway. Use your imagination and envision them laying in their bed in the morning, full of regret and horribly hungover. It's kinda mean but ... it helps. #FUCKIT
  2. Don't feel guilty for wanting to be somewhere else. We all feel it sometimes. This is just a temporary stage in life and there's so many other great things to counterbalance it (aka watching Pixar movies in-theatre without feeling creepy). #WINNING
  3. Remember that you'll miss this part of your life someday. We sacrifice a lot when we decide to bring little humans into the world. They need us more than we need delicious toasted cheese and bread at obscene hours of night. #STILLWANTACHEESESTEAK

Yes, the FOMO feeling is real, but for now I will continue to remind myself to follow these steps while I plan my comeback, a.k.a my forties. Watch out 2027, I'm coming for you! Oh, and you better believe there will be some motherfucking sparklers.

XOXO Tea & Sisterhood, 

Jenni-Lyn 

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