Snarky 'Scopes- Week of August 3

DON’T BE AN ISLAND. You’ve been acting like you’re a damn island lately, Capricorn. Remember that no woman’s an island, and your friends are getting Bora-Bored of your isolating tendencies. Even if you can't be together physically, it’s still important to pay attention to and nurture your friendships this week.

WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK. Rhianna said it best when telling you to focus on work this week, Aquarius. Energy is rolling in that will enable you to hyper-focus on your responsibilities. Cut the bullshit distractions and double down on your duties this week. It will pay off big time soon enough.

VOLUNTEER YOUR TIME. Try to focus on serving others this week, Pisces. People in your community need your altruistic tendencies. Donate your time to a political or community cause you believe in. You will not only help people in need, but you’ll find spending time thinking of others this week will feel rewarding as fuck.

REKINDLE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS. You’ve been secluding yourself a little too much lately, Aries. Your friends and family have been missing the fuck out of you. The energy this week will make you feel more communal. This is a good time to fire up the group chat and see how everyone is doing.

BE A WO-MAN WITH A PLAN. Break out that 2020 planner that’s been collecting dust, Taurus. You’re going to have a moment of clarity this week that enables you to plan for the future. Don’t let this moment pass you by and be ready to write when the inspiration strikes. You may feel like a crazy bitch with four different colored pens and five highlighters but now is the time to layout future goals.

MEAN WHAT YOU SAY. It’s imperative to be honest this week, Gemini. People in your life are going to be turning to you for advice and you have to give it to them straight. We know it’s hard AF to rain on your friends’ parades, but sometimes you’re left with no choice. Trust us, they’ll thank you for the honesty down the line.

FIND YOUR FLEXIBILITY. Life will be full of strange bends this week, Cancer. So we hope you’ve been practicing your downward dog. This week will throw you curveballs you weren’t expecting, and you’ll need to be adaptable as fuck. Stay flexible and embrace these changes, as they could unlock new opportunities you only ever dreamed about.

PREPARE TO BE NOTICED. You’re going to be hot shit this week, Leo. Prepare to have people praise you for the hard work you’ve been doing. We know you sometimes feel neglected by the people in your life, but this week that will change. People are going to come out of the woodwork to celebrate your achievements, and you should get ready to take it all in because you deserve it! 

LOOK AROUND. Your powers of observation are through the roof this week, Virgo. Your keen eye is going to capture the good along with the shitty. Take the time to observe what’s happening around you and take stock of your life and the people in it. You’re going to gain a lot of insight this week if you open those luminescent eyes of yours and look!

BEWARE OF SNAKES. People are going to be especially drawn to your magnetic energy this week, Libra. Enjoy the extra attention, but be careful about who you trust. Sometimes adoring fans are just adoring fans, but sometimes their intentions are more sinister.

EXPECT SHIFTS. Things are changing for you this week, Scorpio. That’s not just a summer breeze you feel, but rather the gusty winds of change. You’ll be tempted to grab Toto and get the fuck out of the wind’s way, but that would be a mistake. Be ready for things to shift in your personal and professional life and embrace the new energy with open arms.

LOOK INWARD.  Take a peek into your soul this week, Sagittarius. It’s time for you to evaluate what it is you really want. You’ve been placating yourself by focusing on meaningless shit, but it’s time to dig deeper. Confidence- boosting energies are going to help you reach your goals, but you have to know what those are first. Take this week to really listen to what your inner voice is trying to tell you.